Angst with news reports disrupting drug programming

drugsI’m furious with ABC, CBS, and NBC for continuing to disrupt their nightly pharmaceutical broadcasts with snippets of news. Granted the interruptions seem to be decreasing, but how am I to learn the latest and most beneficial method for masking pain, relieving congestion, increasing my wife’s libido, or getting a hard-on, if reliable agents of the pharmaceutical industry cave to college-educated talking heads promoting international, national, and local news during otherwise informative broadcasts.

Thank heavens we live in the United States, which is the only country other than New Zealand that understands how we consumers need a constant diet of “direct-to consumer” information about prescription drugs by allowing the pharmaceutical companies to purchase what would otherwise be nothing but news broadcasts.

Not only do current nightly Significant Opportunities for Material Awareness (SOMA) broadcasts offer guidance about what, when, how, where, and why the latest miracle drug can mask any potential or probable medical issue imaginable, they keep us abreast of what has happened to many of our favorite celebrities, who have been out of the limelight for decades or fallen from grace (BTW, I’m drooling with anticipation for a Band-Aide promotion featuring OJ).

Meanwhile, nagging news-item interruptions decrease the time available to list the latest wonder drug’s potential side effects. I need to know whether my flavor-of-the-evening pharmaceutical may cause nausea, puking, heart congestion, shortness of breath, death, or–god forbid—shrinking of my genitalia much more than I want to be bored with oddments about Putin’s latest takeover, ISIS’ growing power, or the shift of American form of government from democracy to corporatocracy.

Yes, I know some of you will criticize the pharmaceutical companies for creating drugs that only give pain relief or treat symptoms without curing any illness. If drug companies concentrated on creating cures, however, there would be fewer capital letter acronym conditions to be treated, which would lead to the near elimination of SOMA content in the nightly broadcasts.

Were that to occur, the networks might be forced to fill the vacated time with in-depth news accounts. Imagine how awful that could be.


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